Moses Long Day: Numbers 19-20

40 years before this day Moses had witnessed God tell the Israelites that they could not enter the land
because they failed to trust God. Now as he sat here thinking over this terrible day, he was angry, despondent and so completely exhausted. He had failed his friend. After all these years he hadn't trusted Him, just like the Israelites had done 40 years before. He had lost the promised land because he had doubted God. What a day.
He still missed his sister Miriam who had died in Kadesh, just a few days before. She had travelled with him through so much of his life. But today when the people started in on that same old broken record; wishing they had been left to die in Egypt, whining about lack of water, leeks and pomegranates he just couldn't take it anymore. He went to God as always with their needs, and God, as always, told him what to do, "speak to the rock and water will be provided".
But when he stood before the people, looking out at them, he was suddenly so angry; he wanted to lash out, God might be merciful, but they didn't deserve it. He yelled at them; "You want water, Ill give you water", and before he knew it he had struck the rock not once, but twice The people were laughing and happy as they drank to their hearts content. They were always happy when they got what they wanted.
As he sat here now looking back on the day that he couldn't take back, and he cried. Not because he and Aaron would not enter the land; that was heart breaking, but it wasn't the worst of it. After all these years he still didn't trust God the way he should, he had let him down. His heart broke under the weight of what he had done. God would still love him, and be with him, but his punishment would stand. He would only watch as they younger Israelites entered the land.
He got up  and began to walk up the mountain, where God had declared he would pass the priestly robes from Aaron to his son Eliezer. Aaron was to die on this side of Canaan as well. It was a bitter end to a bitter day, but the one thing he had to hold on to was that God loved him and his mercy endures forever. The relationship would be restored.

TIDBITS FROM NUMBERS 19-20

Chapter 19 lays out the rules for cleansing thy unclean with Ashes of a heifer used in the water of cleansing.
This is one more reminder that we need to be rescued from our unleaness or we cannot enter God's presence (we will be cut off)
Miriam and Aaron both die in Chapter 20

DIG DEEPER:

Read Numbers Chapters 19-20
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+19-20&version=NKJV